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Talks Divorce

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QUESTION

I and my wife have been married for some fifteen years, and, whilst I am quite happy in the marriage, my wife keeps threatening to divorce me and says that she is very unhappy and wants to be on her own.

My business has suffered in the last eighteen months from the recession, and I am working as hard as I can to turn my business around, and I fully expect to be able to do so but I am very concerned that if I achieve the success that I believe can be achieved in the future I will then face divorce and lose everything I have worked for to my wife.

What can you advise?


ANSWER

Put bluntly, now would be a good time to divorce your wife. The value of your business will be taken into account when you divorce, and if it is not doing well at the moment then obviously its value will be lower than will be the case when you have turned it round and made it more successful.

It is unfortunately the case that people are driven by economic factors, and many woman do chose to divorce when their husbands are doing well and not when they are doing badly.

In the circumstances you may be well advised to take action now if you genuinely feel that your marriage is at an end.

QUESTION

I have told my husband that I want to divorce, and he has said that he wants to be completely fair, and does not want to waste money with solicitors. In fact he has suggested mediation. Do you think this would be the right way
forward?


ANSWER

Mediation can sometimes be an appropriate answer; most particularly where the family assets are reasonably limited and both parties are taking a reasonable stance.

However, many mediators have no legal training and are not seeking to negotiate a settlement that would be necessarily the solution as the Court would impose, and mediated settlements can be affected by the dynamics of the marriage. In other words if a husband is a clever negotiator and dominant within the relationship then sometimes the mediator cannot or does not give the weaker party adequate support, and this can lead to agreements being made that are later regretted.

Certainly solicitors are costly, but bear in mind that the divorce settlement you now achieve will impact upon you for the rest of your life, and you do not want to be in the position in a few years time of looking back and knowing that you could have done better had you had legal advice, and a relatively small saving now could prove to be exceptionally costly when looked at with the benefit of hindsight.