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Everyone's Dating Fairy Godmother...


Hi everyone, thank you for your emails about last month’s article; it seems that texting, the lack of it or too much of it… is a touchy subject!

I’m going to talk about internet dating again this month; there appears to be a total lack of politeness and etiquette when it comes to internet dating. You really have to develop a relatively thick-skin because some of the people who correspond with you; lack basic good manners.

Here are some of the worst “misdemeanours”

As soon as someone new joins the web site (most sites send other members an email notifying them that someone new has joined) some people will systematically bombard that new member with messages; even when they are not “a match.” This is plainly a waste of everyone’s time; what is the point of contacting a person if you have clearly not read their profile?

People who don’t bother to fill in a full profile, don’t answer all questions or tick the boxes. These people are tempted to do this as they believe they will have a larger number of matches to choose from. All this actually does is show the person looking at your profile that you couldn’t be bothered!

Writing about yourself can be difficult so only writing a few corny lines could convey a lack of effort and consequently signify that you might also show a lock of effort in any relationship. My suggestion is that you do some research; there are dozens of websites that show you how to write a really good personal profile.

Lying!!! Especially about your age. What is the point? The truth will come out eventually so you are running the real risk of upsetting someone and ruining any chance of a wonderful romance; any trust you have built up will be lost. Even if you lie for the most innocent of reasons; the other party may believe that if you lied about your age; what else have you lied about?

This leads me on to photographs; never ever put a photo on your profile that is not a true representation of what you look like now. This is my pet hate; how on Earth do you think you are going to get away with it when you first meet up with someone?

Next; if someone contacts you; please send them a message back, be polite and maybe say thank you. Please don’t ignore the message – even if they aren’t a match for you. Be polite say “thank you very much for your message but I don’t think we are a match. I wish you luck for the future” or something like that. Treat people how you would like to be treated yourself.

Please be aware that not everyone on a dating site is genuine; there has been a huge recent increase in organised criminals targeting vulnerable people on these sites. Always be suspicious of people who contact you from abroad, ask yourself ‘why they are contacting me?’ These people are very clever, they have been trained to gain your confidence and they know exactly how to make you think that they are the real thing. Never talk about money or finances to anyone and if people start asking for money; no matter how plausible it seems – please stop communication with them immediately and report them to the website administrators.

If you would like further help on how to date successfully on the internet please get in touch. I run internet dating courses and I also offer one to one coaching on dating and internet dating.