Everyone's dating fairy Godmother...
Well I think Spring is finally here, the daffodils are starting to come out and so are the singletons of the Cotswolds it would seem. I have had quite a few emails from you this month asking how you can prepare yourself for dating.
Last month we asked the questions “are you ready? have you closed the door on the last relationship?” – so this month it’s all about; how to date and what is best for you. There are so many different ways for you to start looking for someone special; internet dating, dining clubs, social events, clubs, classes, activity weekends etc the list goes on.
I had an email from a lady in her fifties:
Hi Lynette, I joined an internet dating site recently and it has terrified me. Within minutes of joining I was inundated with emails from men who were totally unsuitable, some of them didn’t even live in the UK even though I specifically put on my matches that I only wanted to meet people within a 20 mile radius of where I live. I am now terrified of logging back in and having to deal with all these messages; what should I do?
I wrote back:
Dear Disenchanted Princess, internet dating can sometimes be baffling and quite scary and different sites offer different services; this is why you should do some research before you join any site. On the bigger national sites; you are “revealing” some personal details and effectively advertising your availability to anyone who is a member of that site. An Internet Dating for Beginners Course might be useful for tips on navigating around the site, what to reveal, what to watch out for, what site to choose and how to stay safe. There are also a few websites that will list different internet dating sites catering for all sorts of interests and age ranges. Obviously as you want to date someone local; you could use an internet search engine; (Google maybe) type in “dating Gloucestershire” and see what comes up for your area. Maybe a local singles or dining club might suit you better than an internet dating site. I think the best thing to do now; would be to cancel your subscription to this site as it is obviously not for you. Please don’t give up, not all dating sites are like that one; here are a few more you could try........Good luck and please let me know how you get on.
Before you join anything (not just internet dating sites) do some research yourself or if you haven’t got internet access; ask friends to do a Google search for ‘stuff’ that is happening locally. It also depends on your budget, if you have a healthy income and very little time; then an introduction agency may suit. If you are particularly sporty and you would also like the new person in your life to be active; then joining a sports club or gym is a good way to meet someone. Age range and location are also important factors to take into consideration. Joining an internet dating site may well suite this age group better but please take care to choose a site that is predominantly for your age range.
To date successfully takes time, effort and commitment but like most things in life you get out what you put in. It can be quite demoralising at times and I’m sorry to make it all sound so clinical but very often it can be a numbers game or “kissing lots of frogs” before finding the prince or princess – all the old maxims apply. Dating can be very enriching; it makes you push the boundaries, try things that you would not normally have tried and I think this can make you more confident. As time goes by and you become confident; you become more attractive to the opposite sex. There really should be no such thing as a “bad date” – only an experience to learn from; turn each experience into a positive, never give up and above all – keep safe.
For a list of my top five local dating sites, clubs and other singles organisations and my top 10 dating tips; please email me at: