Cheltenham
The Cheltonian > Articles

Everyone's Dating Fairy Godmother

crack

First I want to thank the people who emailed me with their dating issues; I hope my responses were helpful. Well Valentine’s Day has been and gone and we can all come back out of hiding, the Valentine’s cards and nasty “I love you teddies” have all gone and will soon be replaced by chocolate Easter eggs. I was delighted to hear again from Helen who emailed me to tell me she got engaged on Valentine’s Day. Helen wrote to me nearly a year ago asking for some dating tips; I guess they must have worked so I’m thrilled for you both.

For those of you who were not quite as fortunate this Valentine’s Day; let’s see what we can do to help. Whether you choose to go on an internet dating site or are happy to go on the blind dates your well-meaning friends and family have set up for you – the same basic rules apply. If you follow these guidelines you can’t go far wrong.

Before you do anything ask yourself the question: “Am I ready for dating?” Have you closed the door behind you and started to open another? Deal with the baggage. A lot of people make the mistake of rushing back into a relationship too early. You often need time for things to settle down. You will know when you are ready; when you stop hoping or dreading the next text message is from the “ex”. If you are hoping then you are definitely not ready; if you’re dreading, then you need to get a new phone. Please deal with these issues because it’s not fair on any new person in your life and equally unfair to you because you are possibly setting yourself up for another failed relationship.

Before you join anything (not just internet dating sites) do some research yourself or if you haven’t got internet access; ask friends to do a Google search for ‘stuff’ that is happening locally. It also depends on your budget, if you have a healthy income and very little time; then an introduction agency may suit. If you are particularly sporty and you would also like the new person in your life to be active; then joining a sports club or gym is a good way to meet someone. Age range and location are also important factors to take into consideration. If you’re over 40; going to nightclubs or hanging around bars may not be the ideal way to attract a suitable partner or indeed spend the evening. Joining an internet dating site may well suite this age group better but please take care to choose a site that is predominantly for your age range.

Prepare yourself; to date successfully takes time, effort and commitment and like most things in life you get out what you put in. It can be quite demoralising at times and I’m sorry to make it sound so clinical but very oftenit can be a numbers game or “kissing lots of frogs” before finding the prince or princess – all the old maxims apply. On my quest to find Mr Right I went on numerous adventures, I had a lot of fun and I met some really nice people, some of whom I am still in touch with. Dating can be very enriching; it makes you push the boundaries, try things that you would not normally have tried and I believe this can make you more confident. As time goes by and as your confidence grows; you become more attractive to the opposite sex. There really should be no such thing as a “bad date” – only an experience to learn from; turn each experience into a positive, never give up and above all – keep safe.

Take care
Lynette

I would love to hear from you about your dating issues so please email me at info@cherrypick-introductions.com