Everyone's Dating Fairy Godmother
Many thanks to everyone who contacted me about the Don’t Do Dating networking event and to those of you who came along. The evening was a great success with over 40 guests of mixed ages and a roughly even mixture of men and women. Everyone seemed to have a really good evening and gave some encouraging feedback for future events. It was nice to see so many people flourishing; just being themselves with no pressure to date.
I hope you have all been flourishing? If you read last month’s article you will know that I talked about flourishing and using the word to describe how we can feel when things are going well in our lives.
Well I am certainly flourishing, and feel very happy with life at the moment; I get married in a few weeks time and I have managed to help a couple of private clients take the first steps towards finding someone special.
Sometimes feeling happy and content is not always about doing things that make you feel good about yourself; it can also be about helping others to move forward, helping them make difficult decisions or just being there as a good friend and a shoulder to cry on. Sometimes we find that going through some bad times ourselves and learning from the experience can help us advise and guide other people when the time comes.
Occasionally even well-intentioned advice can confuse the issue and people end up going in a direction they don’t feel comfortable with or the adviser can say things that they think the other person wants to hear. It is a difficult balancing act; so whether you are giving advice or receiving it; please listen to the other party, take all the information on board and consider it carefully; then you could adapt or use the information in a way that works for you.
Please don’t feel pressured into doing something that is just not you. I spoke to a lady last week who had been persuaded by a very well-meaning friend to sign up to an internet dating site. She had never done anything like it before as her husband of 35 years had passed away about 3 years ago. It had taken her that long to get over the grief and decide she would like the company of a nice kind gentleman. This lady had never been on a date with anyone since before she met her husband so you could safely say she was a bit rusty in the dating game.
She told me how she felt under pressure all the time and completely out of her depth. Her well-meaning friend had said “it’s the only way to meet men these days” and that “everyone is doing it.” Internet dating was just not the right thing for this lady; however internet dating can work for some people. It worked for me, I met my fiancée on an internet dating site and three years on we are getting married. For this lady I recommended coming along to our next Don’t Do Dating networking event which is a walk and a pub lunch. This I hope will help her to build up the skills she will need to start dating again when she is ready; with no pressure to date until that time. Just talking to other single people who may have gone through similar experiences to you; be it divorce or bereavement can be very reassuring and helpful.
If you would like to find out how I can help you find someone special or if you would like to attend our next Don’t Do Dating networking event on the 9th July (a country walk and a pub lunch) please get in touch. firstname.lastname@example.org call 07540 802 118 or follow me on Twitter@cherrynett and: