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Everyone's Dating Fairy Godmother

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Hi everyone; hope you are all well and flourishing! I went to a Networking event in the week and one of the members talked about ‘flourishing.’ The Concise Oxford Dictionary defines flourish as “…grow vigorously, thrive, prosper, be successful, be in one’s prime, be in good health…” It is quite a potent little word; maybe it is underused?

When you ask someone “How are you doing?” and they respond “Fine thanks.” What does ‘fine’ mean? You know that in this life where everything is possible; ‘fine’ may not be that good… so what do you do? Do you
accept that everything is OK or enquire further to see if you can help?

It is tricky; we all have friends and some of us are lucky enough to have special friends who we can talk to about anything. Some of us are lucky enough to have a partner, boyfriend, girlfriend, wife or husband to discuss things with. So what happens when individuals don’t have those special people in their lives, what do they do?

The answer could be; you have to make things happen yourself. There is an excellent book called “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway,” by Susan Jeffers; it’s an amazing read which helps you take those steps towards being confident and start to flourish. How do you set about becoming confident? Sit down and write down a list of things that make you happy in your life and another list of the things that make you unhappy. Try to think of ways to change the things that make you unhappy and find ways of doing more of the things that make you happy. You may hate your job, your boss, where you live or be in an unhappy relationship that’s making you miserable. Consider how you can change these things slowly; don’t rush into making snap decisions. Once you have changed a few of the things on your list; you should feel less unhappy; you will feel more positive and consequently you will have more confidence – then you will begin to feel that you are flourishing.

Feeling sorry for yourself is not the answer; you have to change things yourself. Other people can’t do it for you; they can help but it in the end it comes down to you. Being negative or finding excuses; the ‘Oh but…’ or ‘I can’t do that because…’ are not going to get you anywhere.

I remember having those feeling myself when my husband left me, stranded in a foreign country with no money and unable to come back to the UK because our dogs required quarantine for 6 months. It was the lowest point of my life but I remember sitting down and making a list of the things I had to do to make my life better. Some of them were practical but others were about me and what I was going to do to help myself flourish again. The stuffing had been knocked out of me; I lacked confidence and self esteem…but not anymore. I moved back to the UK with €20 in my pocket, got a job, found somewhere to live and started going out with some old friends who persuaded me to try internet dating. Three years on; I am about to get married again to the most wonderful man who I met on a dating site and I can safely say “I am flourishing.”

If you would like to find out how you can start to flourish; why not come along to our first networking events for single professional people on the 9th June; venue to be confirmed.

Take care.
Lynette x

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