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It started with a '?'

It all begins with a question – would you like to go out sometime?

You might be forgiven for thinking that’s the hardest question you’ll ask, or get asked, in the early stages of any relationship. You’d be wrong. Apparently we’re all a curious bunch – some of us bordering on stalkery – and there’s a plethora of personal information we’re just dying to know. Having done a very scientific poll on Facebook here’s my list of Top 10 questions you might want to ask but probably shouldn’t during those all important early stages.

1. How/Why are you still single?
This is my pet hate when it comes to date questions. I physically cringe at this insult masquerading as a compliment. You might ask it good naturedly but what you’re really insinuating is that something must be wrong with me because I’m still alone (tiny violins of the world unite).

2. Are you emotionally damaged/immature?
I’m not entirely sure how you’d be able to answer this one. Too quick a no and you’re easily insulted, a jokey yes and you’re in the nearest taxi home.

3. How many people have you dated?
They say practice makes perfect. I say none of your damn business. If I’m with you now that’s all that matters.

4. How much money do you earn?
Didn’t your mum teach you it’s rude to discuss money? No? Well I’m telling you now. Shut up.

5. Do you have any medical problems?
This is something that might be an issue further on down the road but you’re on these dates to learn about another human being, not swot up for a quiz on their medical records.

6. Do you have a criminal record?
It might be awkward but I’m actually an advocate for this one. You might not want to judge someone on their past but you should want to know how it will effect your future. So unless you met through a prison pen pal service I’d ask.

7. Do you have children?
The older you get the more likely the answer will be yes so you need to decide how much, if at all, this will bother you. I’d leave it on a first date though – they had kids, not a lobotomy, so get to know them first.

8. What was you ex like and why did you break up?
Opening The Ex Files is a huge no no! Do you really want to know who they were and why they’re not around any more? Whatever answer you get, you won’t like it.

9. Do you want to get married?
Again, a potential slow burner question for way, way down the line. In business speak – whilst in relationships it’s imperative to have shared objectives for your projected future together marriage is a substantial commitment that shouldn’t be entered into lightly. In layman terms – slow down, y’all just met!!

10. Do you love me?
DUDE! What the hell?! It’s early days and love at first sight is rare and also kind of terrifying. This is the question to pull out when you don’t care if you ever see them again. Whatever the gender of your date you’ve just sent them running for the hills and there’s a restraining order in the post for you.