The Cheltonian > Articles

Bounce Back

How To Develop Personal Strength And Resilience crack

“It’s not how far you fall, it’s how high you bounce when you reach bottom.”

You have possibly heard the expression “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” and certainly from my own experience I dare say that there is indeed merit in that .Clearly some people have the ability to spring back from difficulties and trauma more successfully than others. Learning to be resilient can certainly be a very useful skill, especially as is highly likely that we will all
experience adversity from time to time.

The American Psychological Association reports that “resilience” is the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or even significant sources of stress —such as family and relationship problems, serious health problems, or workplace and financial stressors. Resilience is “bouncing back” from difficult experiences. Research has shown that resilience is ordinary, not extraordinary, and that people commonly demonstrate resilience. One example is the response of many Americans to the attacks of September 11, 2001 and people’s efforts to rebuild their lives. Being resilient does not mean that a person doesn’t experience difficulty or stress. Emotional pain and sadness are common in individuals who have suffered major adversity or trauma in their lives. In fact, the road to resilience is likely to involve considerable emotional distress. Resilience is not a trait that people either have or do not have. The National Institute of Mental Health reports that resilience involves behaviours, thoughts, and actions that can be learned and developed in anyone.

Here are some tips and techniques that will help you to be able to be more resilient in order to cope with challenging periods in your life .

Stay Connected - Good relationships with close family members, friends or others are important. Accepting help and support from those who care about you and will listen to you strengthens resilience. Some people find that being active in civic groups, faith-based organizations or other local groups provides social support and can help with reclaiming hope. Assisting others in their time of need also can benefit the helper.

Analyse Your Reactions - You can’t change the fact that highly stressful events happen, but you can change how you interpret and respond to these events. Try looking beyond the present to how future circumstances may be a little better. Note any subtle ways in which you might already feel somewhat better as you deal with the situation.

Embrace Change - Certain goals may no longer be attainable as a result of adverse situations. Accepting circumstances that cannot be changed can help you focus on circumstances that you can alter.

Take Action - Act on adverse situations as much as you can. Take decisive actions, rather than detaching completely from problems and stresses and wishing they would just go away.

Learn About Yourself - People often learn something about themselves and may find that they have grown in some respect as a result of their struggle with loss. Many people who have experienced tragedies and hardship have reported better relationships, a greater sense of personal strength even while feeling vulnerable, an increased sense of self-worth, a more developed spirituality and a heightened appreciation for life.

Stay Positive - Developing confidence in your ability to solve problems and trusting your instincts helps build resilience.

Maintain Perspective - Even when facing very painful events, try to consider the stressful situation in a broader context and keep a long-term perspective. Avoid blowing the event out of proportion.

Look After Yourself - Pay attention to your own needs and feelings. Engage in activities that you enjoy and find relaxing. Exercise regularly. Taking care of yourself helps to keep your mind and body primed to deal with situations that require resilience.

Be Optimistic - Optimism is learned and nurtured over a period of time. An optimistic outlook enables you to expect that good things will happen in your life. Try visualizing what you want, rather than worrying about what you fear.

Set Goals - Develop some realistic goals for yourself. Do something regularly even if it seems like a small accomplishment, which enables you to move toward your goals. Instead of focusing on tasks that seem unachievable, ask yourself, “What’s one thing I know I can accomplish today that helps me move in the direction I want to go?”

In Summary

There really are some wonderful examples of how people react to some quite extreme situations that are both heart-warming and encouraging. Human beings most certainly are quite extraordinary creatures and, on occasions, we can surprise ourselves with the strength and potential we possess. If we believe that we have the capacity to be able to deal with even the most extreme situation we can not only develop our own internal resources and confidence; we can also be an inspiration and provide hope for others.

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” - Confucius

The Happy Handbook – A Compendium of Modern Life Skills by Liggy Webb is out in
September 2010.

To Pre order your first edition copy of the book email:
Or call 01242 700027
For further information on Life Skills email: